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J.K. Rowling Announces Potterbore

The website www.pottermore.com has been lying empty for the last week, save a link to a YouTube page containing a bunch of owls and a countdown timer, prompting fans of J.K. Rowling’s cash cow to start frothing at the mouth and buzzing all over everywhere about what the hell “Pottermore” could be.  The ideas ranged from everything as brilliant as a Harry Potter MMO utilizing real-world geocaches to a Harry Potter smartphone. Sadly, even that idea would have been better than what Pottermore actually is.

Today, the countdown hit zero, and Rowling had this video replace it, announcing a website that gives you even more ways to throw money at her, this time with no real purpose whatsoever.  Most notably, the site will be home to the entire Harry Potter series in ebook form, completely DRM-free, and entirely in the hands of Rowling herself, rather than a third-party who would’ve merely purchased the license at roughly $160 million.  Taking the profits from the sales directly, she’ll definitely be making more than that.  She mentioned the words “new and exciting ways” to experience the Potterverse, claiming that somehow readers will directly affect a story that’s been literally in the books for almost four years now (Deathly Hallows released on July 21, 2007).  According to the article I found on avclub.com, Rowling’s written a measly 18,000 new words for suckers readers already familiar with the existing story that will expand on the universe with secrets she’s kept to herself until now (except the whole “Dumbledore is gay” thing; we all knew that one already).

The timing of the announcement and the proposed launch date (October) of Pottermore couldn’t be more perfect for the woman whose only claim to unprecedented fame has nothing new on the horizon after the final film in the series hits theaters July 15th.